Linnie Aikens Arts and Letters • HeART Haven Studios

Return to Blog–Quiet Panáche

The Narrows slot canyon, ZION National Park, Utah

Finishing a vacation is always such a sad & sweet experience.  (I never think bittersweet is exactly the correct description for I don’t think I’ve ever felt bitter) I don’t want it to end, and I also can’t wait to see my dog, sleep in my own bed and see my closest friends, well, that is before I set out again the next day for Calaveras County!  


So what are my stand-out reflections?  Besides the obvious awe and wonder at the humbling yet inspiring beauty of nature, I think what I discovered was that I like the real me as I naturally am......strong, independent, adventurous, brave, creative, spiritual,  moderately athletic, open...  I feel comfortable and happy in my own skin.  I pushed myself to do things challenging but didn’t beat myself up for not being perfect.  My motto was I didn’t have to be the fastest one there, just challenge myself if I wanted and enjoy the journey getting there.  I overcame some fears, proved to myself that I am growing healthier, stronger and more fit, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I learned to let go of perceptions and insecurities holding me back.  I don’t need anyone in my life to make me whole, although it would be nice to have someone to share life’s experiences and learnings.  Even there, that may simply mean with my closest and very few dear friends.  Be happy with what I have right now.


View from 5 Freeway


Driving home I again saw these power lines, and I was struck by their soldier-like stance as they march across the hills.  My first thought was that now that this part of my vacation has ended, I’ll need to fortify myself to face off the beginning of a new school year in a new job, new school, new staff, new grade, etc....that I musn’t let down my guard.  Then I suddenly thought, “NO!  I will not approach it this way but rather, as I am now, happy, open, accepting and hopefully with a humble confidence.  I’ll go in as a learner  ready to grow and give.  I will not square my shoulders, ready for battle, but keep my heart soft and my smile ready for each child and parent that walks through my door.


Yes, my friend told me that traveling this summer would be crucial for me personally, and now I understand why.


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