Alice Keck Memorial Gardens, Santa Barbara, CA
A male friend of mine and I were sharing about old loves, lost loves, unfulfilled loves of our past. I found myself reflecting a moment on those, his and mine, and felt such a peace. Never one to follow society’s strictures of emotionally discarding, or worse, badmouthing, past loves, instead I cherish them each for their special role in my life at that time and their own unique gifts to the world. Every person has worth and beauty. I look for it and choose to see it--even the ones who may have had a less than positive affect on my life. I recognize that I, in part, contributed to how they related to me. I also feel blessed to know that even the most difficult of relationships helped me grow into the woman I am today.
Vincent Van Gogh once said, “Love is eternal. The aspect may change, but not the essence.” I hold each of these people in a quiet room in my heart, not forgotten, but respectfully treasured, my heart open for the man of my dreams one day. I would expect that just such a man would also have old loves, and I would not be jealous of them. I would not have been ready for such a man when they knew him. Nor would he have been ready then for the woman I have become. There’s a decided beauty in that.
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